Your boss informs you that everyone at your company will be taking a 2% pay cut in order for the firm to balance their budget. Remembering that Bob in the cubicle next to you was laid off last year and never returned to claim his desk (still sitting empty save for his dusty clock radio that never saw daylight savings time) you kindly tell your boss that “you understand... and look forward to serving your firm for another year.”
Whether you mean it or not, you KNOW that you don’t have the luxury of choice in the matter. So, you wait for your boss to leave the room and immediately text everyone you know! Pissing and moaning about the pay cut, gas prices, etc. While simultaneously changing your status update to read “FML!”
Why, just this morning you spent $75.00 to replenish the liquid-gold in your 2010 Jeep Commander, which moved the gas gauge needle from bare-bones empty to ¾ of a tank. Saturday you lovingly opted to handle the grocery shopping task for the week and headed to your neighborhood grocery store with your wife’s VERY specific list. As you made your way through the aisles, you calculated the cost of the specified items… thus deciding against the surplus gallon of milk @ $4.50 per gallon and swapped your laundry detergent from Tide to its knock off competitor Tyde and very covertly overlooked the five dollar-per 5oz. Tofu listed under Hamburger. All of which you hoped would go unnoticed by your wife. Let’s face it, you’ve really been “taking it” lately; taking it from everyone. Taking it at the pump, taking it at the grocery store and NOW…. Taking it from your BOSS?!?
Let’s mosey 2 months down the road, where we find you on a Friday evening…. you plop down in the easy chair, thankful to be done with the work week as you enjoy your Cup of Jo and ponder your life. In pondering, you realize that you and your family are adjusting fairly well to your pay cut and to the rise in prices of just about everything essential to your means of living. Smiling, you think how great it is that you’re managing to still make your mortgage payment and “Thank GOD!” you’re keeping that Jeep Commander (provided you walk to work 2 days per week, in order to save a little on petro).
So, Wifey comes home and you begin discussing the wonders of your adequacy in the art of thriftiness and penny-pinching – and your ego just soars! “Wifey” you say, “Let’s take the kids out to Marsha’s Meatball Mish-Mash for dinner tonight!”
“Oh, I don’t know honey… Can we afford it?” She sighs.
“Wifey…. My calculations say that we CAN! For once let’s just throw caution to the wind and enjoy ourselves!” You say as you lovingly scoop her up and yell for the kids to “Load Up – We’re Going to Marsha’s!”
Ahhhhhhh – the smell of the mish-mash buffet, perfectly buttered side dishes and that cold mug of beer. “Now This…”. You think to yourself, “is JUST what the doctor ordered.” As you watch your family laughing, sharing and teasing each other; everyone smiling as they offer you their quiet praise, for being the world’s BEST Dad!
You’re done with your face-feeding & beer drinking and Annie, your friendly and ever-so-cheerful waitress drops off your bill; As she diligently picks up your 5th round of dirty plates and crumpled up “mystery-napkins” all under her left arm while holding a tray of what-not’s under the right. You carefully decipher her post-baccalaureate handwriting, scouring the tab for errors and over-chargings and you come to the determination that it is in fact CORRECT!
Annie quickly returns to cash you out, once she sees that facial expression that tells her you are finished second-guessing her calculations and she offers to “take your bill up for you.” You carefully count out three twenty’s and two one’s to cover the $61.98 food and drink bill that she has delivered. You hand her the money while looking up at her with the warmest smile. Annie returns moments later with your 2 pennies and sweetly tells you to “have a great night, enjoy your weekend – And COME BACK SOON!” “You too dear, and thank you.” you exclaim as you plop down two – one dollar bills and scoot on out the door. Knowing that per your budget…. You might be back in two weeks if your penny-pinching goes as well as you hope! At this point, you’re pretty sure it will – as your status update now reads “Life is good!”
Humor me as we re-cap.
Your pay has been cut. The price of gas is just plain ludicrous. Your heating, electric and other utilities seem to be rising as fast as your income is shrinking. Quite frankly, you find this all very depressing. However, a night out with your family – eating something other than Wifey’s mystery meat is somehow rewarding and makes you feel like a member of society. It sort of takes the sting out of your lifestyle adjustments; and rightfully so. But skimping on Annie’s tip…. Not cool!
You see, Annie is more than likely feeling a financial pinch too. She does live in the same community, RIGHT? So why do you choose to cut HER pay. If you’re claiming you don’t know proper tip-etiquette… I suggest you run out to your Jeep and quickly open the TipAdvisor App on your Iphone and figure it out.
In this case – Annie took a 12% pay cut. Shame, shame.
Rest assured however, that Annie will probably be your server the next time you come back.
So Indeed, Have a great night! And please do….COME BACK SOON! J
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